You’ve waited months for vacation. You’ve saved for it. You’ve planned for it. You’ve off-loaded all your work projects so you can actually enjoy it.

Then you spend the first night tossing and turning. Even though you’re sleeping on the fanciest, satin-est, most luxurious sheets ever. (Unless you’re camping. In which case wild animals are probably keeping you up all night.)

Sound familiar? Are you relating to any of this?

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Sleeping vacation-style

Here’s how my first night of vacation went recently – with my two small children.

7:30pm
Bedtime is a flop. Because: boys are TOO EXCITED to sleep. And go to bed 2 hours late. After yelling at one another for 30 minutes and fighting over who gets to sleep with the dog.

11:00pm
I go to bed. Later than normal. Because: y’all, I’m on vacation! And like to read books. And because I’ve forgotten the hell that is the first-night-of-vacation.

1:40am
Small child wakes up terrified. Because: HUGE, BOOMING thunder. Forcing me to sing him songs til the storm stops – 40 minutes later.

2:56am
Same small child wakes up terrified. Because: BAD DREAM about deer. I remind him deer don’t want to eat him. He remains unconvinced and talks me into another sing-a-long.

4:05am
Same small child wakes up HUNGRY. Because: well, because. I tell him if he doesn’t go to sleep, DAMNIT, his brain will be too crazed tomorrow to handle the chocolate treats I’d planned on giving him. (No idea where I came up with this. But at 4:05am, whatev.) He ponders this and shuts up.

I sing no songs. I congratulate myself for my ninja negotiating tactics as I drag my ass back to bed. And make a mental note to check the Yelp reviews in the morning for local cupcake shops.

6:19am
Other child wakes up, LOUDLY announcing his need to potty. This is quickly followed by the kid-I-tried-to-bribe LOUDLY asking if he can have his treat now. I proceed to cry through blood-shot eyes and wonder when someone will sing me songs and coax me back to sleep.

Your brain is on night watch

So what gives?

First off, everyone is a bit overstimulated. Because: VACATION IS HERE! Also: VACATION IS AWESOME!

But mostly, no one sleeps the first night because our brains won’t let us. My favorite neuroscientists claim that our brains are on “night watch.” Where we’re really only half-sleeping. We’re in a new place with new routines and sounds and sights and delights, with new bumps in the nights.

Basically, our brains are poised to attack the deer that my kid is sure is lurking right outside his vacation-bedroom door.

Here’s what some sleep researchers have to say about this:

When people sleep in an unfamiliar place for the first time – a hotel room, for example – they often feel as though they haven’t slept as well. Now, researchers reporting in the Cell Press journal Current Biology…have discovered the reason why: under those conditions, one hemisphere of the brain stays more awake to keep watch.

Importantly, the hemisphere with reduced sleep depth also showed greater response to sounds. Those asymmetries observed during the first night of sleep weren’t evident in subsequent sleep sessions.

All praise sweet baby Jesus for the second part of that quote.

If you (and your children and your dog and your partner and your cat) can get through the first night of your beloved vacation, night #2 will be WAY BETTER. Fingers crossed no HUGE thunderstorm is scheduled for 3:30am.

Except…I think this quote only applies to adults.

Because my kiddos don’t really sleep on night #2 either. And I’ve coached a couple other moms through this same, obnoxious experience. One of them was driving her little guy around in the car at midnight on night #1, her eyelids wide open with toothpicks. I couldn’t guarantee that night #2 would be any better.

In fact, to continue my story from above, my small child was up EIGHT TIMES on night #2. I even tried the bribery trick again and it didn’t take.

Knowing that no one sleeps on night #1 of vacation, I have a rule: stick it out til day #3. If night #2 also sucks, then, screw up, just go home. I’ve done that at least twice, including this most recent trip. Because: sleep is sacred.

Easy enough if your vacation simply involves staying with family or camping in the backyard. Not so great if you’ve shelled out $3,000 for the perfect trip, complete with those luxurious satin sheets. In that case, stick it out til day #4. Because the kiddos tend to be so exhausted by then (and have finally gotten used to all the weird noises at Case Del Vacay) that they give up and sleep the full night through.

Getting good sleep

Here are some tips to help create the perfect vacation-sleep conditions. To keep your “night watch” brain from spoiling all your fun.

1. Sleep before you leave

Yes, everyone will be jumping off the ceiling in anticipation the night before you leave. But do something – ANYTHING! – promise them a new puppy! – to get them to settle into bed early. And you go to bed early, too! That means you can’t leave packing til the night before (good luck with that.)

2. Take your pillows with you

Sure, you save luggage space by using whatever the hotel or cruise line or Air B’n’B has on hand. But taking your pillows along for the ride is a total game changer. Probably even worth the hassle of stuffing them in your carry-on bag if you’re headed to Rome (do you really need to take five pairs of khaki pants anyway?)

3. Pack your sleep mask and noise-cancelling ear plugs

You probably won’t be able to convince your little ones to wear a sleep mask unless they are playing a game of pirate, so think of this as a mom-gift. To block the morning light or full moon at midnight. And guard the ear plugs with your life – to block your kid’s screaming about the 3am thunderstorm.

4. Bring along the white noise machine

For the kids. Or for you. The bathroom fan also works – or a giant, box fan. White noise is your friend. To drown out the blasted fireworks or the party next door or those howling animals wandering around your tent site.

5. Don’t forget the special sleep toys

You know that ratty, old bear your kid can’t live without when the lights go down? Yep, bring it! Do whatever you can to recreate your “home” environment to minimize night-time angst.

6. Invest in RED night lights

Blue light keeps our brains awake at night. Throw a couple of these red night lights in your bag (or hit up the Walmart when you arrive). So you can see in the dark when you’re stumbling around for the TENTH time trying to convince the kids to frikkin’ go to sleep already.

7. Rig up some blackout curtains

When you arrive. To convince the kiddos that they really should sleep til 8:30am. You can do this with a dark blanket or a couple dark towels or maybe by hanging your jeans up on the curtain valance.

8. Child-proof the place

You don’t want children wandering around at 2:30am when you finally fall asleep. Who knows what dangers lurk in an unfamiliar spot. And you don’t need your night-watch brain adding this angst to the list of things to keep it on alert. Do whatever you can to keep your children safe and secure in their rooms.

Like, we always hide the TVs in the closet so when the boys decide to wake up early, they can’t “accidentally” topple one of these things onto the floor. (I’m too cheap to buy a new TV for the vacation rental I’ll never visit again.) And, once, we rearranged all the furniture in the room where the 2-year-old was staying to position the headboard of the bed to hide the sketchy, sliding glass door. Thankfully, the boys didn’t even notice this “exit” til the morning we were leaving when we moved everything back to its original location.

9. Sleep in the closet

If you find a VERY DARK, walk-in closet at your disposal when you arrive at your destination, make your kiddos a nice nest on the floor in there. Think of this as part of your “child-proofing” plan. Or the alternative to black-out curtains – because they’ll think it’s only 11pm when it’s actually time for brunch.

10. Lay off the alcohol

Sure, sure, it’s an all-inclusive resort where the booze is a-flowing. You can indulge on day #4. Once everyone has figured out how to sleep through the night. Because: alcohol is anti-sleep. This is also a great tip when you’re jet lagged in Rome.

11. Go to bed early

I get it, you want to stay up playing mahjong with the cousin your haven’t seen in years. But remember: night #1 sucks! Save yourself! Prep for the worst and hit the hay as soon as you wrestle the children into bed. You can always talk to your cousin on day #3 if you haven’t given up and gone home by then – from lack of sleep.

12. Indulge in a nap

According to my favorite parenting author, Marc Weissbluth in Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, sleep begets sleep. If you barely survive night #1, nap time is seriously your new BFF on day #2. Yes, you might have to skip Space Mountain at Disney World, but it’ll be worth it – and Disney World will still be there on day #3.

My boys refuse to nap nowadays, but I’m rooting for you. Even a 10-minute cat nap in the car is better than nothing. And might encourage your littles to sleep more soundly on nights #2-3-4-on beyond.

Good luck! May you have the most amazing vacation – and sleep – ever!

Share your own vacation-worthy sleep tips below or on Facebook at MothersRest.

Photo credit: Kelly Sikkema from Unsplash.com